My heart flutters at the slightest hint of his smile. “Thank you,” I said, accepting his compliment gracefully, hardly daring to believe he actually liked what I said. I took a deep breath and continued to stare into his hardened eyes.
“The lowest point,” I began. “That’s easy. When my anxiety and depression got so bad that I lost control of my life. I was scared of everything. I couldn’t take care of myself. I lost sight of who I was. I had to enter outpatient therapy at a hospital to get back on track again and regain control of my life. And now here I am, stronger for it.” I waited nervously for his answer and next question once again…
(Sara/slightlystrangesimmer on my personal blog)
He lightly scoffs.
“You’ve been through so much in such a short life,” he meets your joined hands with his free one, holding it over your hand very gently. He wraps his fingers around you and rubs the back of your hand with his thumb as he lets his eyes soften for just a moment.
“What happened to you to cause something that strong?”
You’ve been through so much in such a short life. His words echoed through my mind. Oh Kai, I thought, if only you knew the half of it.
His gentle touch sent tingles up my spine and set fire to the pit of my stomach. I struggled to concentrate on answering his newest question.
“Oh my,” I began shakily. “The easier question to answer would be what didn’t happen.” I paused, thinking how best to explain.
“I was diagnosed as depressed and suicidal at age 15. At the point in my life that this mental and emotional collapse occurred, I wasn’t managing my condition very well. I had recently escaped an abusive relationship, packed up and moved to start anew, and recently started at a new job that was too stressful for me to handle. It all sort of snowballed from there until it got to the point where I was almost constantly breaking down and panicking. Finally when I admitted to myself that I wasn’t functioning or even really living at all, I sought out professional help. There have been darker moments in my past, though,” I finished with a dark chuckle, wondering what he would say next.
He kept his eyes trained on her features, mapping every time they changed and how they moved in conjunction with what she was saying. He stayed silent and kept the room cool.
“Well…” he spoke slowly, “indulge me. What is one of those ‘darkest moments?’“
I wanted to melt under his gaze. It was oddly comforting instead of intimidating. I felt as if he truly cared and was interested in what I had to say. I swallowed thickly, my heart still pounding with desire and need, and I wondered if Kai could hear it.
“My mom kidnapped me from my father when I was ten. She came and picked me up from a friend’s house. I got in the car, not understanding what was happening. We drove so long that we crossed state lines. We met up with a strange man. At least, he was strange to me. My mom knew him. They treated me nicely and bought me lots of toys. My mom asked me if I wanted to leave my dad and come live down here with her. I was having fun, and still didn’t understand, so I said yes. At night we went to an American Legion where I was the only child there and people were smoking and drinking at the bar. My mom let me use a pay phone to call my dad. Him sobbing on the other end was not something I expected. The sound of his voice is something that still haunts me to this day. We stayed overnight at a hotel, and I slept with my clothes on because that’s all I had. I don’t remember what happened when we came home. I don’t know why my dad didn’t press charges. I don’t know how, after a stunt like that, my parents are still together to this day. I want answers. But I don’t want to be the one to bring up something so traumatic when they are both so happy.”
My voice was raw and unemotional. My cheeks flushed as I felt utterly exposed now. Once again I wondered what Kai thought and what would happen next. Maybe he would slap me for talking too much. Maybe he would think I was a freak. Or maybe he would continue to sympathize with me. I tried to keep my body calm as I anxiously waited.
My heart flutters at the slightest hint of his smile. “Thank you,” I said, accepting his compliment gracefully, hardly daring to believe he actually liked what I said. I took a deep breath and continued to stare into his hardened eyes.
“The lowest point,” I began. “That’s easy. When my anxiety and depression got so bad that I lost control of my life. I was scared of everything. I couldn’t take care of myself. I lost sight of who I was. I had to enter outpatient therapy at a hospital to get back on track again and regain control of my life. And now here I am, stronger for it.” I waited nervously for his answer and next question once again…
(Sara/slightlystrangesimmer on my personal blog)
He lightly scoffs.
“You’ve been through so much in such a short life,” he meets your joined hands with his free one, holding it over your hand very gently. He wraps his fingers around you and rubs the back of your hand with his thumb as he lets his eyes soften for just a moment.
“What happened to you to cause something that strong?”
You’ve been through so much in such a short life. His words echoed through my mind. Oh Kai, I thought, if only you knew the half of it.
His gentle touch sent tingles up my spine and set fire to the pit of my stomach. I struggled to concentrate on answering his newest question.
“Oh my,” I began shakily. “The easier question to answer would be what didn’t happen.” I paused, thinking how best to explain.
“I was diagnosed as depressed and suicidal at age 15. At the point in my life that this mental and emotional collapse occurred, I wasn’t managing my condition very well. I had recently escaped an abusive relationship, packed up and moved to start anew, and recently started at a new job that was too stressful for me to handle. It all sort of snowballed from there until it got to the point where I was almost constantly breaking down and panicking. Finally when I admitted to myself that I wasn’t functioning or even really living at all, I sought out professional help. There have been darker moments in my past, though,” I finished with a dark chuckle, wondering what he would say next.
My heart flutters at the slightest hint of his smile. “Thank you,” I said, accepting his compliment gracefully, hardly daring to believe he actually liked what I said. I took a deep breath and continued to stare into his hardened eyes.
“The lowest point,” I began. “That’s easy. When my anxiety and depression got so bad that I lost control of my life. I was scared of everything. I couldn’t take care of myself. I lost sight of who I was. I had to enter outpatient therapy at a hospital to get back on track again and regain control of my life. And now here I am, stronger for it.” I waited nervously for his answer and next question once again…
My Type is Homicidal 