americanhorrorhcs:

the evans drunk…

tate

• was SUPPOSED to be the designated driver
• ^ violet had to drag their asses home instead
• contributed to music selection, nirvana hella
• he’s very emotional
• he sits in the corner rocking back and forth mumbling about how death is inevitable
• “aYe mmmnn BARTENDER! can i have lemonade”
• sings shes a rainbow to his guinea pig
• talks to everyone like they’re ben
• “and today i felt sad, like a different sad”
• “yaint your therapist, tate”

kit

• BIGGEST mood swings
• crying in the corner and stripping on the table a minute later
• will probably give anyone a lap dance
• once downed 11 beers and cartwheeled out the window
• can NEVER remember the night when he wakes up
• “damn i hope i didn’t do anything too embarrassing!”
• “wow im sO hor- is that a DOG?!”
• gets drunk off of one shot
• is suddenly in love with everyone in his sight
• just like,, goes up to random people and sits in their lap or hugs them

kyle

• oh boy. this bitch either wildin or sobbing no inbetween
• is always carrying a solo cup even though they’re at a bar
• “BRO do you have a juul?!”
• “kyle you’re a frat boy not a 14 year old”
• hes the human embodiment of the song “don’t threaten me with a good time” by patd
• pours beer over his head and says hes showering
• surprisingly doesn’t drink a lot
• “can someone suck my dick pleeeease?”
• follows people around and asks for hugs
• “PUT ON TOTO”

jimmy

• well we’ve seen him drunk
• angry drunk, punches things for fun
• sits at the bar and sobs about his life sucks
• “i have fuckin… CLAWS for HANDS, march”
• “kitty come give me a huuuug”
• talks about how he misses the freak show sometimes
• snorts cocaine and bangs his head on the bar
• forgets everyone’s name and has resorted to just calling everyone “you”
• “hey uhhh YOU! with the blue hair”
• drunk jimmy tries to console kyle

march

• surprisingly quite calm
• slurs his words a LOT
• his accent gets so heavy you cant even understand him
• very tolerant to alcohol
• has to drink like 13 beers to get drunk
• stands on the table and gives a toast to john lowe even though he aint there
• he gets extremely intellectual
• “GOD ISNT REAL!” *throws shot glass*
• “mmnm the world is full of crude bastards”
• a mess

rory

• kyle on steroids 2.0
• “hey guys guess who brought COCAINE?!”
• is literally going to die from alcohol poisoning
• “have you met my friend kyle? hes great. there’s no one better than my friend kyle”
• on the dance floor the entire night
• knows the choreography to single ladies
• “BRING ON THE BOOZE!”
• recites all of his lines from roanoke nightmare and tries to kiss kyle and says “hes guiness”
• “i am married to EVERYONE in this room”
• his form of dancing is standing on the bar and screaming the lyrics to africa

kai

• basically walked in naked
• “im ready to get fucked tonight”
• lets kit give him a lap dance and makes sure to let him know the next day
• humps the TV to the extreme
• screams to communicate
• “what do you mean this isn’t a strip club?”
• leaves halfway through to go to the strip club
• tries to start fights
• gets in political arguments
• dyes his hair uncontrollably

gallant

• sings the words to time in a bottle whilst crying on the couch
• has 3 moods: crying, laughing, and kinky
• “am i catholic or protestant? god i just don’t know!”
• ^ if you know where that’s from you’re going to straight to hell
• spends his entire credit card
• remembers everything the next morning
• claims that he is actually peter maximoff
• “i can run really fast, watch!” *falls over*
• seduces everyone
• dances very poorly in the middle of the floor

enjoy! these were fun to write